A New Year has me looking back

Summer evokes memories. I must be something about its sensuality: Light clothing, heat, floral fragrances, sweat, skin. Suddenly you find yourself in a fold in space and time, and things from long ago move through your heart and mind….




Clanville Road






I drove down Clanville Road last night.


Summer with the windows down


Transporting myself through


A corrugation in time,


The old road swayed and dipped


Before the car swayed and dipped


And I knew each nuance


Like each furrow in my shin bone,


Like each time you drove the bathroom


Window open to wave goodbye


As I flew up the side street


Having only just rolled off in 2 a.m. silence


So as not to wake your parents.




I drove past Clanville Park last night,


Tasting the breeze of thirty-odd


Years before, this body


Now testing basic structural principles


In its lack of integrity, insipid, as if


The balance of years had somehow


Reversed – the strong, healthy young man


Bereft and needy in heart –


Now driven, as a pilgrim to unity


Of purpose while his ageing body,


Bereft, needy, arthritic and balding,


Looks for a resting place.




I turned from Clanville Road last night,


Though wanting it to last, so I could tell


That young man what to look for,


How to love, how to break


Himself before the accumulating cache


Of what he didn’t choose chose for him –


A coalescing fear that drove away all


That he held dear and melted


What resembled the chassis of his life.


I wanted to brake, tell him to pull over,


That the breeze that feels like freedom


Never is, but still feels that way,


Wanting him to know the difference.