Summer evokes memories. I must be something about its sensuality: Light clothing, heat, floral fragrances, sweat, skin. Suddenly you find yourself in a fold in space and time, and things from long ago move through your heart and mind….
I drove down Clanville Road last night.
Summer with the windows down
Transporting myself through
A corrugation in time,
The old road swayed and dipped
Before the car swayed and dipped
And I knew each nuance
Like each furrow in my shin bone,
Like each time you drove the bathroom
Window open to wave goodbye
As I flew up the side street
Having only just rolled off in 2 a.m. silence
So as not to wake your parents.
I drove past Clanville Park last night,
Tasting the breeze of thirty-odd
Years before, this body
Now testing basic structural principles
In its lack of integrity, insipid, as if
The balance of years had somehow
Reversed – the strong, healthy young man
Bereft and needy in heart –
Now driven, as a pilgrim to unity
Of purpose while his ageing body,
Bereft, needy, arthritic and balding,
Looks for a resting place.
I turned from Clanville Road last night,
Though wanting it to last, so I could tell
That young man what to look for,
How to love, how to break
Himself before the accumulating cache
Of what he didn’t choose chose for him –
A coalescing fear that drove away all
That he held dear and melted
What resembled the chassis of his life.
I wanted to brake, tell him to pull over,
That the breeze that feels like freedom
Never is, but still feels that way,
Wanting him to know the difference.