Waiting for a transplant 6 – Twilight Zone

I’m sitting in the San Cafe with Remy and Ed; Jordy is on his way. After a beautiful start to yesterday, with Ngaire out of bed and starting to eat solids again, today has taken a horrible turn. Since this morning her oxygen levels didn’t get above 80%. Normally, this could be weathered with rest and proper breathing technique – but not today.
The doctor did some tests and discovered a pneumothorax – one of the tiny pockets in her left lung had burst, leaking air into the pleura (the sac surrounding the lungs). This meant that a portion of her left lung wasn’t working properly.
After a procedure to release the air, it was thought that her levels would improve. Sadly, after two hours, they hadn’t, and Ngaire was fighting for every breath. In the end, through sheer exhaustion and with her oxygen still in the mid-70’s, Ngaire begged to be intubated. She was distressed and spent.
She jotted a couple of shaky notes to those of us closest, then the team moved in.
In Ngaire’s situation, intubation is basically life-support. Once on, they can’t take take her off until transplant. She is also heavily sedated – unconscious – and may or may not hear us.
After the procedure, the doctor informed me that it was an extremely difficult process and she wasn’t happy with the balance of oxygenation, blood pressure and sedation. She said that if she could keep Ngaire alive through the night, she would be overjoyed.
So we sit in this cafe, contemplating this door to the Twilight Zone. We have all had tears, but we all cling to the hope that still resides in that precious girl. Please join with us.

25 thoughts on “Waiting for a transplant 6 – Twilight Zone

  1. Hi there darling family, we are standing with you knowing that Papa’s presence is there with you and is far more capable of meeting every one of your fears, doubts and concerns than we can so I commend you to his loving care. Delene


  2. Oh Matt… We will be praying (in Jesus’ Name), and our Faith will not stop believing for new lungs for Ngaire.
    We will never understand the Mystery of why God sometimes heals on Earth, but we know He always heals in Heaven. Our prayer is that you all are held close in God’s perfect Love and Peace tonight. We pray for you as Jesus prayed for Peter, that your Faith will not fail you, and that your anchor holds firm within the veil between Heaven and Earth.
    Our hearts ache for you and your precious girl and all you have had to battle, but we hope beyond hope because we have a Saviour to whom every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess that (one day) all the saints will wear a victor’s crown. May you all rest peacefully in His arms tonight.

    Nick & Ali.


  3. Oh Matthew…So sorry to hear where all this has landed!!
    Can’t really express thoughts and feelings properly via text / Internet :/
    We are praying for you guys .. asking the One who creates, loves and knows all to give you His peace, His courage, His understanding and His hope in this horrible situation
    Hold on ..
    Xxx Kaye and Richard


  4. Praying now Matt . . . for our gracious & merciful God to meet all your deepest needs. That in Ngaire’s weakness His strength would be made perfect to sustain her while she awaits her new lungs. That Ephesians 3:20 & 21 would be your testimony – that God will do exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond all that you have dared to ask for or imagine according to His resurrection power that is at work within your precious girl – to His glory!
    And that God would give you and the boys all the emotional, physical & spiritual strength you need to negotiate your way through each minute of these harrowing days. May HOPE burn even stronger in ALL your hearts as it does in ours. Much love – Lou & Ron


  5. Dearest Matthew..I am praying for you dear friend along with my precious Ngaire. You are both too amazing for words and I am praying for a miracle right now and that God would wrap his arms around you and the entire family during this time. I am believing for new lungs for Ngaire! He is our healer and I am claiming that healing for our precious one. Listen to this song if you get a chance Healer By Kari Jobe maybe you know it already! I love you dear friend!

    Bethie xoxo


  6. Dear Matt,
    I feel so sad reading your message and my heart goes out to you, Na and the boys. Please know that Nick and I are thinking and praying for you all.
    Thank you for sharing your journey this way…..it means a lot to us.
    Lots of love and prayers,
    Pam and Nick xx


  7. Our love to all of you – you are in our thoughts but I have no words….what can I say….be strong xoxox Lisa,Jon, lachie & angus


  8. So praying for love comfort strength ,we are all carrying you in our hearts and prayers
    Standing with you ,knowing our beautiful loving Father is completely with you all,
    The Lord is Ngaire Shepherd,He will lead her to green pastures
    The mccarthys


  9. Mat and boys… so sorry and deeply saddened that everything ended this way. Ngarie was so beautiful in every way possible and I loved her to bits. God bring you comfort along with your family and friends. xxx and hugs.


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